So That's What Being Married Is....

The other day my husband walked to the end of our long driveway to get the mail. He saw our neighbor out and said hi to him. They chatted for quite a while. My hubby was ready to come back up to the house so he said to the neighbor, “I better get going or Crystal will put out a missing persons report”. He meant it humorously of course. The neighbor said to him, “So that is what being married is all about”. He is an older man.

At first I found the comment a little rude. Then I felt sorry for him. It is sad to think that he feels marriage is about someone else keeping tabs on you all the time. He has missed all the many beautiful things that make a marriage.

Dear Mr. Neighbor here are a few things that marriage is about...

Warm snuggles on the couch on a cool fall evening

A smile from across a room full of people

Dancing in the living room

A candlelight dinner at home

A hand to hold

Saying “I love you” hundreds of different ways in all the things you do for each other

Arms that wrap you in love when you need it the most

A kiss.. quick ones, long ones, passionate ones

A shower together

Someone to laugh with, someone who laughs at your dumb jokes, inside humor that only the two of you understand

Someone who 'gets' you

Living life with your best friend

Adventures together

Someone to share simple days with you

Someone who knows you, they know your morning breath and bed head.. and they still say, ”I love you”

Arguing about stupid things and then making up

Sacrifice and commitment

Flowers for no reason other than they thought of you that day

A text or an email because they were thinking of you

Comfort when you are sick

A listening ear when you just need to share what is on your mind

Someone who will pray for you, someone who will pray with you

A shoulder to cry on

Someone who loves all your physical imperfections because they know it's what makes you special to them

Someone who knows that what you need at this very moment is chocolate, or a glass of wine, or both ;)

Encouragement to do your best every day

Working together

Loving together

Walking through difficult times together

That warm body to sleep next to on a cold winters night

The person you can't wait to come home to

Someone that shows you every single day that love is an action

And yes Mr. Neighbor someone who cares enough about you to be concerned if you really are missing.


Marriage will have its ups and downs, no question. There will be difficult times, there will be struggles. Whenever you bring two imperfect people together there will be work necessary for living life together as one.

What seems to be missing for so many today is the understanding that marriage is a commitment of love and sacrifice and giving 100% for the betterment of the other. In that there is so much beauty, joy, companionship, devotion and love that grows more and more with each passing year. It is one of the best investments we can be blessed to make.

“I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.” -Song of Solomon 6:3



  1. I would have taken it as a compliment. I doubt he meant it badly. Glad you have a blessed marriage. Not being happy, but staying with each other because of vows and just being committed is also what marriage is all about - warm snuggles or not. I long ago gave up on all what you have said here. God has seen us through, though.

    1. He's been our neighbor for almost 20 years.. and has a fairly negative view on marriage in general.. pretty sure it was not a compliment ;) It sounds like you have had struggles, I am sorry. May God bless you for your commitment to your vows and to your marriage. It is not often this is seen.

  2. We are kindred spirits, my friend. Marriage is such a blessing. Being married to your best friend is simply the best kind of marriage. All marriages have ups and downs, seasons of busy and calm, good times and hard. It's the commitment, as well as the desire to give your best, that makes a good marriage, a solid marriage, a lasting marriage, a marriage that your children tell others about and aspire to have themselves.

    You have done well, dear one. I know that life hasn't always been easy, and you've endured your share of troubles. But, the other side of all of that is what you have today. A rock-solid marriage. :)

    1. Thank my my sweet friend for the kind words. And I do agree, being married to your best friend is the best kind of marriage.


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