Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Can we Raise Children without “Professionals” Today?





This may seem like a strange question. The events of last week made me come to some conclusions and ask myself this question. Here is a little about me and the events of last week….

First off, I was raised by a father who was a very independent thinker and taught/showed this to me as well. I learned to think outside the box and how to make informed decisions. Over the years in raising children I made choices that were not the norm. I homebirthed most of my children (and delivered 2 of my grandchildren at home), I homeschooled, I don’t vaccinate my children and lastly I don’t/have not done well-baby or well-child checks. I did not make these decisions lightly. I read for knowledge, I studied each of these decision in depth, prayed (obviously it should go without saying this was in conjunction with my husband) and made the decision as a knowledgeable, loving, caring parent. I do not expect anyone to agree or disagree with my choices as they are just that.. my choices as a parent.

As to my latest events, part of the requirement for Sierra to enter the medical field (she will be going to school to be a dental assistant) are 4 vaccines. We discussed this before she enrolled in the school and felt fine with the decision. I feel her body is much more able to handle them at 18 then as a baby. Imagine my surprise when I called the doctor’s office and was told first she would have to have a well-child check. At 18? What? I’m pretty sure in this country an 18 year old is considered an adult. An 18 year old can join the military and fight and die for our country, they can vote, they are responsible for their own actions and debt. But first has to have a “well-child” check before an immunization? And how about the fact that a 14 year old girl could go and get an abortion in this country without a “well-child” check. In the end we went to a walk in immediate care clinic and they had no problem with our request.

When in the clinic the PA (Physician’s Assistant) was a bit surprised she had not been immunized. She asked me, “Has she had care?” I assumed she meant medical care. I told her I took Sierra to the doctors when she needed to go. She has been very healthy. She has been to the doctor twice. Once at age 5 for a tick bite that was not healing as I thought it should and once at 14 to talk with the doctor about allergy issues. I’m very thankful for doctors, I am not anti-doctor or hospital or any such thing. I believe they have their place in life, for the sick, not the well.

This got me to my current thinking and the questions posed for this blog, “Can we Raise Children without “Professionals” Today?”. As a parent who has been out of the main stream for many years I realized that today things are very different than in the past. It begins with us needing a professional to deliver our babies, and then we need professionals to keep tabs on them as babies, as children, as teens and apparently even as young adults.

I took this thinking one step further; we then need professionals to teach our children. We put them in school (I’m generalizing on society, obviously), we need councilors to talk to them, we need government funded dieticians to tell us what they need to eat, and so on. Goodness, someone as simple minded as a parent cannot be considered capable of raising them and there must be professionals for every step and walk of life. Sadly, I do believe this is where our society may be at this point.

God gave me these children. I’ve prayed for wisdom and knowledge and I’ve read and researched many hours and made choices for my children based on all of this. Part of wisdom and knowledge is knowing, as a parent, when I need a professional and when I don’t. But that should be MY choice, not the societal norms. Not the government laid out programs and schedules. As you may be able to tell I’m not an “it takes a village” type person. It takes parents who pray for wisdom and knowledge, read and research, ask questions, study an issue, and know that they are capable of making informed decisions on their own. 


What I pass on to my own children? You are responsible for your children; you are empowered to make the choices for them. Pray, read, research…


 
 

15 comments:

  1. You and your husband are exceptional parents, and I don't even know you. I can see it through your blogs. You are a great example to me.

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  2. Great post! I agree, it's a bit crazy, isn't it? And every child has some sort of medical issue now, too. (So they say.) I just did a post on that the other day. It's really quite sad, the way our world is going. This is why I'm making my own tinctures and homeschooling and such. I think a lot more people are beginning to see the light here and realize that the government has their hands in a bit too much anymore.

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  3. AMEN! I came to this realization after my children were almost grown. I WISH I had not had them vaccinated or public schooled. But I can't change that now. I am however infuencing my daughters to make different choices. My husband serves on the school board to try to keep the governments long reaching arms from taking over our schools.
    Our oldest also entered the healthcare industry and had to have lots of immunizations that she had not had (HPVP, Chicken Pox (she had them as a child) for just a few).
    I agree with you very very much! I am praying that others and younger parents will wake up to this crazy notion that "it takes a village"! NO, just mom and dad!
    Thanks Crystal! Great post!

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  4. Awesome post! I wish I'd had your dad for my own. My own children were all delivered by c-section, immunized too. We did however wise up about school and eventually homeschooled them all. What I learned too late I taught to them. They are think outside the box kind of people now for which I'm thankful. I too have delivered a grandchild in her mama's bed. No better experience than that one for sure! I just love your blog, and have for many years. You've taught me so much! All of which I've passed on to my daughter.
    kim

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  5. Very well said, Crystal. I am a stay at home mom, that was the choice my husband and I both made. We have to watch our finances pretty closely, but we manage. I cook from "scratch" and don't have to worry about obesity, because we not eating junk food all the time, so we don't need a dietician to manage our meals. We raise and can our veggies for winter use, so no extra preservatives or added ingredients to harm our bodies. We do "well checks" with our kids once a year, mainly because we have to pay the premiums and should get something out of that. We use homeopathic remedies when we need "medicine" and only go to the doctor when absolutely necessary. But by far I feel the public school systems are the most damaging to our children, and on that note we home school. We have taken a lot of grief over this, but in the end the education and well being of our children is more important than listening to people question why you are homeschooling. With the proper tools, (God, love, nutritional foods, and appropriate educational material) any parent can take care of their child, but sadly most don't want to. Most people do not want to be parents, so they allow the "professionals" to raise their children for them. Which keeps the cycle going.

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  6. Nailed it as usual, my friend!

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  7. It was so frustration trying to get our last child registered in our county (for taxes etc) in order to get an SS# (that in itself had a huge pile of paperwork) just because we had a home birth. It would have been a piece of cake if I had shot records and Dr. visit records.

    Well said Crystal!

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  8. Amen! I am an RN and I see physicians everyday that perform procedures and order unnecessary tests all in the name of money. You're article was spot on. We need to rely on ourselves not the government to make the choices that are right for us and our families. Exactly why I've been a fan of your blog for many years now. Keep up the common sense approach!!

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  9. I live in and was raised in urban America. Now as a mother I've made a conscious decision to back away slowly to a simpler way. I do believe that it it takes a village (which is how I found this blog). Thank you for the encouragement and common sense approach to parenting.

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  10. I have always thought that the gov. has had their hands into a lot of things they mostly don't really need to be. another thought is, I don't get any of your posts anymore in my e-mail and have to look it up on internet to read them. I have gotten for yrs. but not anymore. can't figure it out. do you still send it out? jana

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  11. so true!! the thing that I find funny is that most of the people that are telling us how to raise our children don't have children at home or they are working so many hours that a babysitter or nanny is taking car of them..

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  12. I found your blog while searching for a dishwasher detergent substitute and have been reading and enjoying many other articles. I have several friends who have chosen to use birthing centers instead of the typical hospital birth, and many who homeschool. We are considering homeschool for our 5th grader.

    I do have a concern about home births, based on the experience with my now five year old: newborn screening tests. I had to have a csection with my second child due to a previous csection, and was very bothered by the amount of poking and proding on my brand new baby boy... But when his pediatrician called a week later and told us that he tested positive for hypothyroidism, I was so very grateful that I had reluctantly allowed the testing. We had to go pick up thyroid medication and administer immediately! Without that medication/hormone, he would have suffered severe mental consequences, including mental retardation! (Hypothyroidism is one of the most common, PREVENTABLE causes of mental retardation, which is why all newborns are screened for the condition in the hospital.) Are the newborn screening tests a regular part of home births? I would hate for something so preventable to be missed!
    Thank you for your blog and I am looking forward to reading more. -Jeni

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