Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Stay at Home Wife?





In today's society the thought of a woman without children or whose children are grown and gone, staying home to care for the home is almost unheard of.

I remember meeting a lady at a gathering that I had known several years ago. She asked me about my family and when she found out my youngest son was done with his homeschooling her first question was, “Are you working now?”, followed by, “What are you doing with your time?”. It was clearly a concept that was not familiar to her.

Being a stay at home wife is not a new concept. My grandmothers did not work outside the home, even after their children were raised. They continued to take care of their husbands and home.


I do admit to feeling a little lost when I realized that my job of raising and homeschooling children was done. I did reflect on my life and direction. Some women have aspirations to go to school or learn a trade and work outside the home when the children are gone. Some women need to for financial reasons. Some women may feel a societal pressure on them to go out and work. Personally I did not have those types of goals or needs. I remember talking to my husband about it and wondering if maybe I should think about a part time job. He said to me, I love the fact that you are home when I get home, that you adjust your schedule to mine, that we have our weekends together. Finally after all these years we have time to spend together. I love the fact that you keep the home clean, the meals you cook, I love knowing that our home is taken care. I would be very sad if that changed.


When you have children at home that you are raising it makes your purpose at home clearly defined. Purpose can get a bit hazy when you realize that you are done with this job. Now what is the purpose?



There is still purpose in being a homemaker even when the children are not the primary focus. Being your husbands helpmate and homemaking tasks are still needed. The key for me was to pray and ask the Lord for His wisdom and point me in a direction that still reflected my desire to love and serve and focus on valuable use of my time. As always the Lord is faithful and has done just that.

The Lord has shown me many ways to reach out and serve my family. It may be as simple as just more time spent with them, more phone calls, it has been meals, time caring for my grandchildren to give mama a break, etc. I've also been able to focus more on personal goals that I just did not have the time for when I was busy with children (such as getting fit, learning how to knit), and of course more time with my husband which has been a blessing to both of us.  Not to mention there are still gardens to tend, canning to be done, animal care, cooking & baking and all the small things that go into making a house a home.  I find my days very full and I am enjoying it more than I expected.




I realize that being a stay at home wife/homemaker is a small majority of women. It is not something everyone can do or desires to do. Because of this I rarely see encouragement directed towards women who choose this path. It is a worthy path to follow, it is not something new and strange :), it is an old path with its own blessings.




 

14 comments:

  1. I still have a teenage son so I am still in the parenting phase. However, when I mention going back to work after our son graduates, my husband tells me the same as yours!

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  2. Thank you for the timely post. My husband & I never had kids, and I "retired" from my outside world job almost 2 years ago (I'm only 48), to become a "stay-at-home-wife". I LOVE it. My husband loves it! Our relationship has gotten so much better because of it, in part because my stress level has reduced ten-fold. I still feel at times I SHOULD be working outside the home, even just part time, but my husband encourages me by telling me the same things yours has told you. God Bless you! LynneinMN

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  3. Thank you for today's post. It really hits home:) I love reading your blog(I receive your emails) Keep up the great work. Have a great day:)

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  4. Beautifully stated! I am in a similar situation. When the last two left home I was a bit concerned about what I would do with all that "extra time." Ha, what extra time? I'm enjoying more unstructured time that allows me to do things I didn't have time for with children at home, but I'm just as busy now as I was with children at home - just busy with other things. You're right, it's not for everyone, but I'm glad I can remain a supportive wife and mother, while having time to explore some new interests and be of help to others in my community.

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  5. Oh my gosh, the Lord works in mysterious ways! Yesterday I spent a great deal of the day wondering if I was "out of step" with the modern world because I am a stay at home wife. We have no children and like Lynne from MN I retired several years ago at age 44. So many people, many of whom are "friends" ask me why I'm not working, or what on earth I do with all my "spare time"! So much so that I've really been struggling with the idea that perhaps what I do isn't as valuable or worthwhile as I thought. Thank you so much for your post. It has reminded me of how I am doing exactly what is right for my family and myself. I realise now i was allowing myself to be caught up in the social expectations of people who are not even that important to me. Those who ARE important - my husband, my wider family and my "true" friends - are both happy and grateful for the fact that I have the time to tend my home as I'd like, help my sisters with the care of their children and be available to my parents as they have aged (now sadly only my mother as my father passed late last year.) I am doing exactly what I'm here on this earth to do.

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  6. Being able to stay at home, even after becoming an empty-nester, is truly a blessing. I wouldn't want it any other way! It's wonderful to actually be able to slow down and actually 'take the time to smell the roses'. Life is good.....God is good!!!

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  7. This is what I hope to do when my kids are finished homeschooling in about four years. By the time I'm finished, I will have been home for nearly thirty years. I doubt I'd find much I really wanted to do out in the workforce that I could get hired for anyway!

    How long have you been blogging? I think I've been reading your blog since sometime in the late '90's. Is that possible? It was one of the very first I read. I'd love you to write back by email or comment on my blog.

    Laura Lane
    Carthage, Missouri
    lauraofharvestlane at gmail dot com
    http://harvestlanecottage.com

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  8. I only stayed at home when the children were little but as soon as my youngest started school I worked outside the home during their school hours. As they grew, I worked longer hours and now fast forward to today. Today, my oldest is a college grad and the two youngest live on a college campus. My husband is no longer working so I'm grateful that I have my job as the sole breadwinner. We never let our kids down during the formative years and someone was always available AND they were good students and didn't act up. Every situation is different and this work well for us. It doesn't hurt that I love my job either.

    Alice

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  9. Thank you Crystal. I needed to see that and "! Hoov" I couldn't have said it better myself. Your comment was me entirely including age! I'm 48 too(49 on Tues)!

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  10. Thank you again, Crystal. I remember a professor's wife teaching us college girls (at a Christian college) that she was so blessed to be able to stay at home, even after her children were grown because she was always available, not to mention that homes still need keeping when the children are gone. A woman in this situation could say that she is retired. No one ever expects a retired woman to continue to work. Of course that would only work with people who don't realize what you are retired *from* -- those who know your former job of raising children won't see this as retirement, but in a sense, it is.

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  11. I think being a stay at home wife is wonderful. I wish that was my path as well, but maybe some day! :)

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  12. I love this post! I have worked as a nurse for over 30 years (no retirement package). My husband and I agreed that I could STOP a little over a month ago. I am so happy to be home; the stress level has gone way down and I love taking care of my home, my husband, our pets, and my daddy. :) I'm proud to tell people I am no longer working.... most people are just a little jealous. lol

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  13. I loved this! I totally agree with you! :) Thank you for sharing! Have a great rest of the week!

    Warmly,
    Katy

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  14. I am so pleased to have found you again and i love your blog
    blessings and hugs
    Page

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