I got an email from a lady who was concerned about her daughter. She, the mother, held a certain belief and her daughter was away from home and wavering on these beliefs. So it made me reflect. I have had 5 daughters and 4 of them are grown and doing their own thing in life. One of those 4 still lives at home but has a busy life working and obtaining her college degree, and I see her in passing as she leaves for work and her own life. The 5th is still being homeschooled.
As mothers we impart our views, beliefs, convictions to our daughters. In the end will they live and abide by these? Some may and some may not. My pastor once said if parenting were as easy as A+B=C then we would all get it right. We can’t expect because we have beliefs and views and convictions that our daughters will have these as well. There is something called free will. Every person has to walk their own path and come to their own conclusions. Honestly I would not want it any other way. We can’t be afraid to show our daughters the options of life because they may see something better than what they were raised with. They have to come to these conclusions on their own. They have to develop the conviction that the choices they make for their own life are THE best. And as mother’s we pray diligent for their hearts, always.
One issue that is always a constant in the Christian world of raising daughters is a college education. This can go in contrast to some people’s beliefs on raising daughters to be homemakers. So, do we want our daughters to not have a college degree so we can make sure they don’t have any other options but homemaking? I should hope not. Are we concerned that if they have a degree it will lead to a career and they won’t want to be homemakers? Well, I guess that is always a possibility. But the reason I became a homemaker was not a lack of options it was a conviction from the Lord that said I was the one He chose to raise the children He gave me and the one He chose to love and support my husband, the one He chose to run the household He gave me. It was all about God, not a lack of options. I want my daughters to come to these same conclusions for their own lives.
Why are so many afraid of strong, independent, educated, competent women? Women that are capable of making good and godly choices for their own lives. I understand the feminist angle, believe me you can’t live in this society and not see this. I don’t want to raise feminist daughters. I want to raise women that are strong, educated, competent HELPMEETS!
Let me share something about myself. I am strong headed, independent minded and a doer in life. And this is one thing my husband loves about me. He knows his best interest is always first and foremost on my mind and the good of our family and home is always my first priority. But I think independently. He likes that fact and that he and I can talk about the issues of life and decisions that need to be made and he has an equal in life to help him make decisions. Women need to be strong, smart and independent minded to be able to bring to their marriage the fullest potential it can have. The one thing about being a wife is that we willing put ourselves under the authority of a husband because that is what the Lord has designed as the best pattern for a successful life and marriage and we do it because we love our husbands! But we are his equal and need to bring to the table our best for our family’s interest. I want to raise daughters that have that same strong, smart and independent thought and can bring to their marriage something of value. Sometimes the things in life that we experience are what help us to come to those independent thoughts.
At some point we have to let go of our daughters, knowing we have done, prayed and taught the best that we have in us. After this they need to walk their own path. They may make bad choices, they may make wonderful choices, but ultimately I want them to be women that love God, want to serve Him all the days of their lives and can live up to the Proverbs 31 ideal. They can consider a field and buy it, they can sell their wares, they work hard every day for their family, they can be the woman that does her husband good all the days of his life, they can be women that their children will rise up and call blessed.