The other day my husband walked to the end of our long driveway to get the mail. He saw our neighbor out and said hi to him. They chatted for quite a while. My hubby was ready to come back up to the house so he said to the neighbor, “I better get going or Crystal will put out a missing persons report”. He meant it humorously of course. The neighbor said to him, “So that is what being married is all about”. He is an older man.
At first I found the comment a little rude. Then I felt sorry for him. It is sad to think that he feels marriage is about someone else keeping tabs on you all the time. He has missed all the many beautiful things that make a marriage.
Dear Mr. Neighbor here are a few things that marriage is about...
Warm snuggles on the couch on a cool fall evening
A smile from across a room full of people
Dancing in the living room
A candlelight dinner at home
A hand to hold
Saying “I love you” hundreds of different ways in all the things you do for each other
Arms that wrap you in love when you need it the most
A kiss.. quick ones, long ones, passionate ones
A shower together
Someone to laugh with, someone who laughs at your dumb jokes, inside humor that only the two of you understand
Someone who 'gets' you
Living life with your best friend
Someone to share simple days with you
Someone who knows you, they know your morning breath and bed head.. and they still say, ”I love you”
Arguing about stupid things and then making up
Sacrifice and commitment
Flowers for no reason other than they thought of you that day
A text or an email because they were thinking of you
Comfort when you are sick
A listening ear when you just need to share what is on your mind
Someone who will pray for you, someone who will pray with you
A shoulder to cry on
Someone who loves all your physical imperfections because they know it's what makes you special to them
Someone who knows that what you need at this very moment is chocolate, or a glass of wine, or both ;)
Encouragement to do your best every day
Walking through difficult times together
That warm body to sleep next to on a cold winters night
The person you can't wait to come home to
Someone that shows you every single day that love is an action
And yes Mr. Neighbor someone who cares enough about you to be concerned if you really are missing.
Marriage will have its ups and downs, no question. There will be difficult times, there will be struggles. Whenever you bring two imperfect people together there will be work necessary for living life together as one.
What seems to be missing for so many today is the understanding that marriage is a commitment of love and sacrifice and giving 100% for the betterment of the other. In that there is so much beauty, joy, companionship, devotion and love that grows more and more with each passing year. It is one of the best investments we can be blessed to make.
“I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.” -Song of Solomon 6:3